Thursday, April 19, 2012

P - Parkinson's disease

I thought about writing about party's, procrastination or Paris, but I ended up wanting to write about Parkinson's disease. It's a disease close to my own heart and family. I decided to write about this, to make people aware that this is an actual disease and not just something old people gets, because the are getting old and it's nothing to joke about. 

My father has Parkinson's disease, he was diagnosed in 2009 when I was away on boarding school.

Year by year the disease has been getting worse on my dad. First, before he was diagnosed it was just a little shaking in his left hand now three years later he can't sleep though a night, both his hands shake, his legs are cramping the hole time. The time he is well is when he is running, walking or riding his bicycle.

He didn't have it this way three years ago. Maybe he would be a lot better right now, if me and my mom didn't pressured him to go to the doctor back then.

He is not even a bad case, he's are a mild case, at least for now.

All those thoughts about, "maybe it's the pills he have to take" or "the doctor" who doesn't know shit about Parkinson and doesn't want to refer to a specialist.

Maybe he would be better of without the pills.

Being away on boarding school made it all easier for me of course I struggled with my thoughts, but as time has gone and I came home, I could see with my own eyes what this disease do to a person.

Have you ever had a close family member suffering from a chronic disease?
Share your experiences:)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

O - Outcast

A very late O, but what the hell it want to finish this, late or not!
- My deadline is three days, the question is; can I make it?
In various  periods of my life I have been an outcast; a person without friends and I've perennially felt a little different from others. But there is nothing wrong about feeling that way.

Just because I have never been afraid to be myself and show it, it does not mean that I should feel different or weird. It's okay to be who you are and not change, for the shake of other unless you want to.

Recently I have undertaking a motto called "accept what you can't change,  change what you can't accept". Since I have begun living by those words things seem more simple and decisions about change, easier to make.

Though you can't decide whether you are an outcast or not, you can try changing it even though it's probably really hard. Try to approach some new people, some you maybe never would have thought about approaching otherwise. I know it's hard, when you are an outcast it's rarely by choice and often you are a shy person (I am), but trying is what matters. What matters even more is what you think about yourself, because people will come and go, in the end it's yourself you have to live with all of your life. I know that and now you know it too and hopefully that will help you.

Knowing that and that I have had those bad experience's in my life have made me stronger as a person..

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I'm Out

I was gone on a studytrip to Brussels for a couple of days, unable to write my posts and I can now see that I can't catch up on the letters I missed. So I'm going to withdraw from the challenge even though it's not really what I want.

I feel very disappointed of my self.

My compromise with my self, is that I will try my best to write the posts that I missed and the ones to come, so I in my own way will still a part of the challenge. Because I want to finish it, for me and because despite some of the stress I enjoyed it. A lot.

For the A-Z'ers that has clicked on my blog, I hope you will make it to the end of April and happy blogging!

Monday, April 16, 2012

N - Not a family person

When I talk to my friends about their views on family, the often seem more lovable and willing to spend time with their loved ones. When it comes to my view on family I'm the exact opposite of my friends. If my family took a trip for a year or so, I'd probably be happy to be left alone.

I just don't have that feeling that family is impotent. My family has always been traditional, we know each other because we are related. There has never (for me) been that feeling that we are sitting around that table because we want to.

My family is not worm and people don't know each other, even though the sited at that same table over 30 years! I've only sat there for 18 years and I would have no problem cutting them out of my life because it's not people I know or I can even have a conversation with! That say A LOT about my family.

I have this dream that we as a family would know each other, but I know it's never going to happen.

So how do you feel about family? Hopefully not the same way I do..

Edit: I might have given the wrong impression, when I wrote family I meant others family members then my parents.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

M - Memories

Memories is nostalgia. When you from time to time think back on an event in your life, it can bring both joy and sadness.

I like to be able to think back on all the great things I have done, by myself or with my friends.

One of my favorite memories to think back on, is a festival that is held every summer called Roskilde Festival. It really brings me and my boarding school friends together after a year of school and separation. I remembered that after it was over and all I had left of it was the memories and a wrist band, I smiled every time I looked at my left wrist.

That is one of my favorite memories, what are yours?

Friday, April 13, 2012

L - Life

Life is such a big thing, it i also a broad subject. Because life is so much, it has different meninges and the term it self is used in so many ways. Both in positive and negative, such as "Get a life!" and "I feel like I am truly alive". The thought of the word life in my mind, often leads to the stream of thoughts/questions "what do I want out of life?" , "do I live my life to the fullest?"  and "am I really happy or is it all just superficial nonsense?".

I dare to say that I am probably not the only person on earth to have these thoughts.  
I see these thoughts as self discovery and a way to make life goals for my self. Sometimes when I am sitting in class, spacing out, I suddenly think of all of those things I want out of life ,and what I want to do before I am no more. It's often about traveling, seeing Paris, not just as a tourist, but as a well known visitor, because I am a lover of the art. My latest new found life goal is to be a part of the "pantsless subway ride" in New York, that occurs every year in January. Think of how cool would it be, to step over that boundary you may or may not have,  and make way for a new unique experience you hopefully will look back on, all of your life with a smile on your face?  Why not try to do these crazy things?

Off course there can be a lot of arguments of reason against it, but if you make it simple and think to your self "wouldn't it just be fun?"
For me the answer will always be yes!

And with that I will leave you , hopefully given you a little weird something to think about.
(or maybe not)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

K - Karaoke

K has been my hard letter. I'm sure you can think of many words and subjects that starts with a K, but I couldn't so google became my friend in the search for a K-word.

So I think karaoke is a way of bringing together friends and family, an excuse for singing, even though you know how much you suck at it. But it's fun to laugh at your own bad singing skills and even more impotent; your friends!

I wonder if there is any karaoke bars in Copenhagen and if I can persuade my friends to come with me, to embarrass ourselves in public, instead of the cozy safety called our homes. I bet we could get a big laugh of the stories we could tell after that night!

That's the best with fun experience is that they make great stories.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

J - Junkie?

I really don't know what to think about them. I believe the are and once where, before there addiction, descent people. I judge this from my own experience. I have a friend that is addicted to hash and I know that wasn't supposed to happen and she is a nice person. She doesn't steal or prostitute herself to afford her addiction, she has a job like everybody else. She's never high when we are hanging out, but we talk about it and I don't know what to say or do to help her.

That is the tricky part, what am I going to do as the friend? Now I haven't done anything, because she's fine with it and it doesn't take complete control over her.

I can understand how she got there, or at least how it started. You just want to try it, see what happens. It thinks that's what drugs do, before you take 'em; they fascinate you. After maybe not so much. I'm going to be honest and say, I've smoked hash once or twice, but I don't want to be more then those two times.

I didn't want to miss out on that experience and I respect those who choose to say no to that experience. I have the same feeling when it comes to drinking. Saying no is okay and it's impotent to be put your foot down and just say no.

Not giving a good impression the danish youth here..

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I - Impressions

Today I went to the National Gallery of Denmark, I had never been there before(I was very confused) and while I was there I wrote down some thoughts.

The old entrence in the National Gallery of Denmark.
Now set in a new extension.

I feel as if museum is like a library, you can't say much, you can only learn and watch. It's custom to whisper and not talking loud is an unwritten  rule. It is where new is smashed together with old.

At times art is weird and incomprehensible, other times it can both be deep, meaningful and beautiful on the same time.

Asger Jorn painting

Art is to be interpreted the way you see it and it may not necessary be what the artist thought, for instance take this painting by Asger Jorn, if you look into it what do you see? I wont spoiled it for you, by telling what I see. You must see more then just colors?

Art can leave impressions, sometimes good sometimes bad.

Monday, April 9, 2012

H - Home

The beautiful greenish spring landscape  is all around me and it welcomes me home. Because that is what it is, my home. It might be that I don't live here everyday, but it's still my real home.
If I ever lost it, I would be lost. Not knowing where to go.  My holiday home have always had that effect on me. If everything is shit, my holiday home is not.

It's like it's there for me.

When I came here today it was with the biggest real smile on my face. I was smiling because I feel genuinely happy, just seeing everything that is familiar to me. All my childhood memories. The atmosphere so peaceful and homey.

I think this is how everyone feel, when they have a place that isn't just a real place, but a place that will always be in your heart. When they have a place that's not perfect, but to you, it is the most amazing place on earth.

When it is your home.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

G - Getting drunk

Getting drunk with your friends is a unique experience. Sometimes you can open op on ways you never thought would be possible, when you get a tad to drink, tonight is one of those nights, which is also the reason I'm so very late with my a-z post and I wrote this from my Ipod.

Elaboration on last nights words:
(I remembered very late, that I had to write a post and at that moment that was all I could come up with!)

Off course you have to drink with responsibility and make sure that those you are with will follow you home if you've drunken to much.

Here in Denmark, it is not illegal to drink at any specific age even though at 16 you are allow to buy alcohol with low alcohol percent. At 18 you can drink and smoke away.

When you start to drink so early as we Danes do, you learn your boundaries and being an responsible drinker. I'm making Denmark sound like the land of underage drinking(at least for the US), but it's not dangerous and parents are just as every other parents; worried sick. So in the first years they are there to talk to or just be around. It is no shame to drink or talk openly about it.

When you reach my age(almost 18 age) you become more civilized, by the fact that you have had  those experiences and as time go by, you get to know your boundaries and know that that next glass of wine is not a good idea.

I don't know so much about how the U.S deals with underage teenagers drinking and their party's, all I know is that when you are 18, you are at least old enough to make your own decisions and at twenty one, sure you are a lot older, but you will be so much more inexperienced. All I have heard of your colleges is that you go completely crazy drinking really irresponsible and it probably because you haven't had those experiences.  To be honest I know nothing about how you do things in the states.

I hope you all have a good Sunday off

Friday, April 6, 2012

F - Facebook

Today social media, such as Facebook has a big influence on how people interact with each other. I'm pretty sure that without Facebook I myself would have a hard time, to keep in contact with the friends I don't go to school with.

These days you can connect on all sorts of ways. When you are sitting at a restaurant maybe with a friend, you can tweet or write a status update about it on Facebook, letting everyone you know what you are doing right this moment. Not only what you are doing, but who you are doing it with and where and when.

And it's not only people that are using Twitter and Facebook, it's also firms promoting their brand and artists you can click "like" on.

But with all this social media, what is going to happen with face to face interaction? Personally I think face to face are the most vital. Sure you can get to know someone online, but it's not the same. You can't drink a cup of coffee with another person online. The most deep conversations should be face to face, you can't give comfort trough textual communication only.

Think about how bad social skills we would all have, if we only had interactions with each other online, or via text, phone or web cam!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

E - Eighteen

So in about two weeks I become 18 years old. That both makes me exited and nervous. Being 18 means more responsibility, but also more freedom since I become legally adult. I will be able to vote, drive a car, go to a club and a bar, drink way to much vodka(yuk!), buy cigarettes and move out.

I would like to move out and go to a club. I have mixed feelings about learning to drive and vote. I'm a socialist, but I have not clue about what the the politicians are doing at the moment. All i know is that I like our welfare society, despite out high taxes.

Moving out costs money and I don't have them.

Becoming 18 also mean that it's even more impotent to get a job then before, the difference between before and after, is that it's harder because now they have to pay you more money and they want you to have an education before you come work for them. That's not fair for the students.

The biggest difference for me will probably be that I have to pay for everything my self. On the bright side I will learn have to juggle a budget, so when the day comes and I can afford to move out, I will know how to handle a budget

I can't wait!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

D - Dreams

We all have dreams. Dreams are beautiful, wonderful, crushing, unrealistic and ambitious, but some of those dreams the goals in life that we seek.

The young have loads of them, it's possible that it is because we are naive, the old maybe not so many because they had the time to fulfill their dreams. I can't really speak for the elders because of my young age.

All I can say is that dreams are impotent, at least to me. I even have a list, some more easy and something that is possible right now and some dreams are for the future.

My biggest dream right now, is that one day I will be able to open my own cafe/bookstore. A place students can come and meet and study. Like a library just without the shushing librarian.

I would also like to travel the world, I am in love with Paris. Big city's is so exhilarating. Little Copenhagen is not enough for me.
I have two more dreams I'd like to share.
One is completing this challenge.
Two is writing a book or a short story, and if a short story print it on a T-shirt. That way you can say "this T-shirt has a story too it".

Those are are few of my dreams, what are yours biggest dreams right now?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

C - Colors of her soul; Poem Tuesdays

Usually her on my blog, I have something called "Poem Tuesdays" something which I would like to continue with through the A to Z Challenge. Maybe it will challenge me to read something I might not have read.

This poem has originality no title, so I just made one up from the first sentence of the poem.
I hope you like the poem. My favorite part is the last two lines, what are yours?

Colors of her soul

Colors has she in her soul
Dusky gold and green and white

So if eyes peer out to see
Rain a-slanting down the street
Washing though the colonnade
Let us smile and say that she
Paints in green

Rain a-slanting down the street
By the first lamps of the nights
Overhead the willows meet
Bells from hidden places toll
(Colors has she in her soul
Dusky gold and green and white)

Hurried dots upon the day
Little figures scurry by

By F. Scott Fitzgerald

P.S: Thanks for all the nice comments, it's really motivating and it kind of makes my day a little better!

Monday, April 2, 2012

B - Bad days

Do you know those days that from the moment you open your eyes, you can just feel that this is not going to be your day?

And even though you try to put a smile on your face and to be all positive, the day anyway ends up as a bad day?

I have a theory.
The theory goes like this; because you knew from the beginning of the day, that it was going to be a shitty day, your subconscious took notice of that and prevented you in having a positive mind.

And that is my theory. I just realised that it's not very comprehensive.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

A - Acceptance

I find this subject very important, not only because I see it as a basic humane thing in my life, but also because I have been raised to accept and not judge.

I hate it when a person take one look at you and think, from that look, they know everything about you. We all have our flaws and since nobody is perfect, somebody have to accept you for who you are. I would like to think of myself as that person.

Hipster, hippie, punker, vegetarian, ugly, pretty, black, white. How you look should have no meaning of others impression of you.

But yet it happens anyway, because we can't help it. A bad first impression happens, the impotent thing is to be able to see behind it.

If everybody would be able to accept one another, I'm sure the world would be a better place.

To every A-Z blogger, welcome and may you not only survive the challenge, but enjoy it as well! :)