Thinker - Reflecting on my travels - PART 1

Tiergarden, in Berlin.

My mini Europe trip to Berlin and Paris, has both been a learning, healing and magic experience for me. In my last post I was in Berlin and my stay there was coming to an end. How I spent my last days in Berlin where different from day to day - I spent one day reading about the victims of the Berlin wall, another in the Pergamon Museum looking at archaeological treasures and the last in Tiergarden walking around in beautiful green surroundings thinking about my life, friends and death. Why death you might ask? A family member died for about a year ago and one of my closest friend's father just passed away. These two people have something in common besides that fact that they are no longer here, they died way too early and young, both taken by a desease we've all in some way been touched by - Cancer. It was the death of these two was on my mind that day , but also the death of a new friendship. How it feels to no longer to be friends and the confusen that follows. It's not the first time I lose a friend(when I say lose, I don't mean to death), but it doesn't mean I can't feel it, like I felt it years ago when it happened the first time, except dealing with it now is easier then it was back then. Berlin and Paris was both healing places for me, because it gave me the time to think thoughts,

I would not have had the time to think and a quiet peaceful place to do so.

I made this post into two parts, one for this and the other for Paris - so come back to read more!



Tiergarden.

(sorry for the wierd way the pictures are placed, but Blogger just won't collaborate with me when it comes to pictures!)


Some of the old Berlin Wall.

Pergamon Museum

Roman architecture (Pergamon Museum)



L - Life

Life is such a big thing, it i also a broad subject. Because life is so much, it has different meninges and the term it self is used in so many ways. Both in positive and negative, such as "Get a life!" and "I feel like I am truly alive". The thought of the word life in my mind, often leads to the stream of thoughts/questions "what do I want out of life?" , "do I live my life to the fullest?"  and "am I really happy or is it all just superficial nonsense?".

I dare to say that I am probably not the only person on earth to have these thoughts.  
I see these thoughts as self discovery and a way to make life goals for my self. Sometimes when I am sitting in class, spacing out, I suddenly think of all of those things I want out of life ,and what I want to do before I am no more. It's often about traveling, seeing Paris, not just as a tourist, but as a well known visitor, because I am a lover of the art. My latest new found life goal is to be a part of the "pantsless subway ride" in New York, that occurs every year in January. Think of how cool would it be, to step over that boundary you may or may not have,  and make way for a new unique experience you hopefully will look back on, all of your life with a smile on your face?  Why not try to do these crazy things?

Off course there can be a lot of arguments of reason against it, but if you make it simple and think to your self "wouldn't it just be fun?"
For me the answer will always be yes!

And with that I will leave you , hopefully given you a little weird something to think about.
(or maybe not)

I - Impressions

Today I went to the National Gallery of Denmark, I had never been there before(I was very confused) and while I was there I wrote down some thoughts.

The old entrence in the National Gallery of Denmark.
Now set in a new extension.

I feel as if museum is like a library, you can't say much, you can only learn and watch. It's custom to whisper and not talking loud is an unwritten  rule. It is where new is smashed together with old.

At times art is weird and incomprehensible, other times it can both be deep, meaningful and beautiful on the same time.

Asger Jorn painting

Art is to be interpreted the way you see it and it may not necessary be what the artist thought, for instance take this painting by Asger Jorn, if you look into it what do you see? I wont spoiled it for you, by telling what I see. You must see more then just colors?

Art can leave impressions, sometimes good sometimes bad.



A - Acceptance

I find this subject very important, not only because I see it as a basic humane thing in my life, but also because I have been raised to accept and not judge.

I hate it when a person take one look at you and think, from that look, they know everything about you. We all have our flaws and since nobody is perfect, somebody have to accept you for who you are. I would like to think of myself as that person.

Hipster, hippie, punker, vegetarian, ugly, pretty, black, white. How you look should have no meaning of others impression of you.

But yet it happens anyway, because we can't help it. A bad first impression happens, the impotent thing is to be able to see behind it.

If everybody would be able to accept one another, I'm sure the world would be a better place.
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To every A-Z blogger, welcome and may you not only survive the challenge, but enjoy it as well! :)

Unprepared

So I have just received an email from one of the co-hosts of the A-Z Challenge, reminding me it starts on Sunday. Which I can't believe. Really, already?

As the title allude to I'm completely unprepared and that's not good.

I have had two kinds of thoughts about the challenge.
One is that I do it in the spur of the moment. Try do be authentic,  despite the possible stress.
Two is that I'll do a little of both, so I know there are days where I don't have to stress about it or that I one day, where the post is already written, I maybe feel inspired to write tomorrows post.

It never occurred to me, to write them all before the challenge. Because if I did that, it wouldn't be a challenge for me. I'm doing this because I want to see if I have what it takes to become a writer. Or at least give me hope that I can write and concentrate about it a long time, and not just once a week.

When thinking about, I'm not a 100% unprepared. I have written a very few post. Just not those that are really crucial for me to get through it. Because I have that study trip coming up, where I will be away for 4 days.

To be totally honest, I'm afraid that I'm not going to complete it, even though I really want to.
I wanna prove to myself that I for once in my life can finish something and not just start it.
I would hate to one day think back and remembering that I never in my life finished something.

By the way, heres a picture off a special mushroom. When I saw it, I thought it was very cute, when I look at now I found a deeper meaning. It kinda reminds of me; a little cute, but also different from others.

Don't know

Have you ever felt, that you doubted yourself?

Lately I have. I'm beginning to think that I'm taking the wrong education. That it's not my match. There is so many homework to read and papers to be written . I'm just not that person. I can't get myself together and use 5-7 hours of my life, just because I have a paper due. I have better things to to, more fun things. Things that I might care more about, than just schoolwork. Sure I like to go there and learn new stuff. I love learning new technical terms and being able not only to understand them, but use them in a sentence. It makes me feel intelligent. I mean who doesn't like to feel intelligent?

If I was rich, I could do anything I wanted. Instead of doing things, because I have to. I HAVE to take an education, that will be able to give me an income in the future.

Why can't I be the main character, from the movie "About a Boy"? He was rich and happy. Didn't need to do a thing. The downside of his life, is that he hadn't any friends at all.

If I had to choose between money and friends, friends would always be my choice. Because I know from past experience that without them, I would feel like shit.

That is why i probably will continue with this education, because how would I be able to keep contact with my current friends?

I don't know. Sometimes you simply just don't know.

Poem Tuesdays; Crank

This is an excerpt from the book "Crank".

No more paper,
nothing left to clean,
thanked god for the
Jerry springer marathon
six great hours, filled
with pitiful people,
whose lives were way
worse than my own
Hard to believe
the world is such
A screwed-up place

I don't know how you read this poem, but I interpret it as disappearing into something and realising that you don't need to. If you read the book, you will notice that in that context this is not the case, at least from my point of view.

How do you interpret it?

Bye the way, if you are a reader of this book and want to find it, I can tell you it's after she met the monster.

Get lost

I want to write, I want to be gone, somewhere else. I don't want to die, I never wanted that. I wish to live, I always will. But i want disappear completely and become mindless. Lose my head in another persons life, because of some reason my life isn't good enough, even though I have all I could wish for.  Sometimes it's just not enough. Of course there are some material things I want, but they aren't necessary for a good life.

It's weird that, when I'm done with the days deed, school, grocery, cooking and my homework, all I want to do is become someone else or at least get lost in a story/movie.

I wonder if anyone else have ever felt this way. Always the thought, am I the only one to think this? Am I truly alone?

For me it is just two of they many questions and thoughts I have.

But what I think most of, is the life I want to live. All the dreams I have. So many that I can't even remember them all. When the day comes and my dreams come true, maybe I don't want to escape my own life any more or get lost in another's. Or some fiction.  Because my life will be good enough.

I hope so. I dream of that.

Waste of a weekend

Here I sit, in front of my computer. Sick, my head full of snot and my nose even more snotty.
The only thought I have is "what a waste of a weekend". I could have done so many fun stuff, but this cold just came in and interrupted my life.

My small break from school.

We all know it. It becomes cold outside and your nose start to run. That is just the start. The day after you sit/lie in your bed, unable to do anything else then blow your nose and watch television. Though I prefer playing sims, as the huge sims-nerd I am. I don't really think I helps me get well faster, playing sims. But when I have the time, why not stare at a screen of a game that stimulates the life you want to live when stuck inside of your own home?

This blog post is not very good. I just liked the headline with the alliteration.